Lately I've been trying to eat up to "maintenance" calories- meaning the number of calories I normally burn during my regular activities. On an average, "sedentary" day, I burn around 1,700 calories. So I've been eating anywhere from 1,300 to 1,700 calories. Because according to everyone, ever, I couldn't possibly gain weight on that amount of calories.
WRONG. Wrong, wrong, no, incorrect, bad dumb no!
I don't want to know exactly how much... but I know I've gained. A lot. Like I think I'm back around 124 pounds. I'm scared to weigh myself.
But I don't understand how this is possible! And this is what frustrates me. It could be "food weight" whatever the fuck that means, it could be my body re-hydrating after taking clenbuterol for two weeks, it could be because I'm constipated, or hormonal, or blah blah blah.
Point is, my weight has drastically increased over the course of a few days despite eating the same amount of calories that I am burning. Which is impossible, of course. And I've been too sick to go to the gym. I can suddenly see why people take laxatives.
I gave the rational, the logical, the recommended a try. And it took a dump on me. As long as I'm not purging, who the eff cares if I'm constantly dieting? What am I trying to prove by eating "normally", and to whom am I trying to prove it? So it's back to the clen, the gym, the calorie reduction. And all with a sore throat and head cold. I feel like a hamster running on my little wheel. Squeaky squeaky squeaky.
I love the imagery! Lol! Homanz that's why I'm doing the restrict/calorie counting/ lax thing. Cause when I ate "right" and exercised I still gained x_X
ReplyDeleteGood luck hon! Keep your chin up! Love you and be safe!
Hey I think it's because of what eating ana-style does to your metabolism, it'll be way way down low because your body has gone into starvation mode. So instead of burning the standard 1700 per day, your body is getting by on much less in order to try and slow down your weight loss and prolong your life, as it thinks you're stuck in a famine or something. So when you eat 1700 cals, your body burns maybe 800? 1000? (guessing) and the rest goes straight down in fat for later, because your body's scared it won't get any more for ages. That's why recovering anorectics find that their weight balloons when they begin eating normally.
ReplyDeleteYC- yup its pretty unfair lol. How often do you take lax? At this point I dont care if it's not "real" weight.
ReplyDeleteDandelion clock- its possible, but I'm not anorexic so I don't restrict that much. I "diet" and purge mostly. But I think taking those diet pills may have altered my metabolism once the effects wore off. Boo! : (