Are we ever free?

Sometimes I'm hit hard with the realization that I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to weigh myself every time I pee. I don't want to spend the rest of my life counting carbs. I don't want to spend the rest of my life checking the backs of packages to track every calorie. I don't want to argue with myself about throwing up for an hour after every time I eat a cookie. Sometimes I feel strong and in such control- but other times that control just seems so exhausting. Is it really this black and white? I can be fat and unhappy or sick and unhappy. How do normal people eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full?