I think that 108 would be my perfect weight. It seems just right. Just far enough under 110 to give me a little cushion. I cannot stop thinking about the cereal in my kitchen! I know I can't eat it because then I'll have to purge and then I'll be puking up my meds which I really can't afford to do... : /
I'm so scared to weigh myself tomorrow. Yesterday I was barely under 121... I hope I'm no higher tomorrow. I hope I hope I hope.
It's so disappointing to me that I lose weight after purging. It's not something I want to be doing everyday. I only purge processed foods, I don't want to have to start throwing up lettuce and chicken.
My mind won't stop running in circles. I want that cereal so bad. I want to eat it all and throw it up. Tomorrow morning I can have it.... at this rate I'm going through a box a day of this stuff (Kashi Strawberry Fields) and it's expensive! As a recovered heroin addict, I can honestly say I now enjoy food on a level that I thought I could only achieve with drug use. yum.
Holy crap do I feel like you are me right now lol. I decided 108 would be a perfect weight for me. I'm on a cereal kick. And, as a recovering addict (opiates too lol) I feel like I enjoy food in the same way you just described.
ReplyDeleteSamzi- That's awesome that you are in recovery- keep up the good work! We're almost the same age too, I'm turning 21 in September and going down to Vegas for a very sober birthday lol.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever gone to AA or NA? I've actually thought about going to Over Eaters Anonymous but I'm not sure what the etiquette is and I'm a little freaked out to go alone. I'm also really saddened by the idea of having nothing... no drugs, no eating disorder... you know what I mean? I like having a little world to escape to.