Gains and Losses

This is the first time in my life I have not only lived with a boyfriend, but truly been independent (at least from my parents). I'm still working on some things- I can't yet pay for my cell phone bill or my psychiatrist appointments, but as far as food, rent, personal items, etc. I'm on my own. It's exhilarating to have this much control over my life- I can do yoga for an hour and a half and eat nothing but a block of tofu for dinner. I don't have to hide anything.

My boyfriend and I are going through some rough spots. He's really depressed and sometimes he becomes so angry and treats me just horribly. The other day I was at the end of my rope- I decided to write him a letter and leave it in the bathroom. I basically just told him how I felt and told him that he really needed to get some kind of help for his depression and his anger. He's already been better today and he's also upped his anti-depressents a little bit.

I'm taking so many diet pills, I'm hot and shaky all day but I don't care as long as I'm losing weight. I'm so much more toned and defined than I have ever been before. My next goal is to tackle running a mile without stopping. I have to push past that point of discomfort and get my runner's high!

I still struggle with my binging and purging- it's so unhealthy and so not worth it. It's so difficult to exercise the next day because I feel so weak and sick. 

On another note one of the tumblr ED girls I follow (goinghungryed) is going to be on intervention sometime in September! I'm so happy she's getting treatment. 

Anyway, that's about all for an update for now. I may write more later after I play on MyFitnessPal for a while. Toodles!